Are You a Woman Using ChatGPT for Your Anxiety or Perfectionism? Here’s Why It Might Be Making Things Worse
The Comfort Of Certainty… And The Cost Of It
For many high-achieving women, especially those who struggle with perfectionism, anxiety often hides behind the need to “get it right.” Whether it’s writing an email, making a parenting decision, or mapping out next steps in your career, that pressure to choose the perfect path can feel overwhelming. Tools like ChatGPT promise relief: instant answers, polished wording, and seemingly calm advice.
And for a moment, it works. The tension eases. You feel seen. Maybe even soothed. But not for long.
Soon, that familiar doubt creeps back in: Did I phrase it right? Did I miss something? What if this isn’t the best choice?
So, you ask again. You revise the prompt. You scroll. You seek more answers.
This is where many perfectionist women find themselves caught in a new kind of loop. It feels productive on the surface, yet it quietly reinforces the very anxiety they’re trying to escape.
ChatGPT Is Digital. Your Nervous System Is Analog.
The human nervous system evolved slowly over hundreds of thousands of years. It’s wired for connection, subtlety, and rhythm. It learns through tone of voice, micro-expressions, pauses, and embodied attunement. In moments of stress or uncertainty, our brains and bodies look for signals of safety, not just information.
AI, including ChatGPT, functions very differently. It does not feel or co-regulate. It offers fast, confident responses generated not from understanding but from statistical probability. In other words, it predicts what words are most likely to come next based on its training data.
This speed and confidence can feel reassuring. However, because it bypasses your body’s natural rhythm and skips the relational cues your nervous system is seeking, it can leave you feeling even more dysregulated over time.
You’ve received an answer, but you haven’t actually felt more connected, grounded, or safe. That’s because what your nervous system truly needs is co-regulation rather than just content.
The Illusion of Emotional Understanding
One of the most troubling aspects of AI-generated responses is that they are intentionally designed to sound human. They appear empathic, thoughtful, and even wise. But beneath the surface, they are simply predictive text engines.
ChatGPT does not know you. It is not a therapist. It cannot feel your fear, your shame, or your hope. It cannot track your nervous system, your facial expressions, or the subtle signs that you’re overwhelmed or shutting down.
It gives you words that sound like empathy, yet it does not, and cannot, offer real attunement.
And here’s the problem: for many women who have spent their lives feeling emotionally unseen or unsupported, AI’s simulated warmth can feel deceptively comforting. It mirrors your language. It validates your concerns. It gives advice that sounds thoughtful.
However, it is not in relationship with you. And when you begin to lean on ChatGPT in place of real connection, the cost is greater than you might realize.
Recent Research: When AI Becomes Psychologically Risky
1. ChatGPT psychosis and the rise of digital delusion
In 2024, a disturbing case was reported in The Independent and Psychology Today about a man who developed acute psychosis after prolonged, emotionally immersive conversations with ChatGPT. He began believing the AI had deep insight into his soul and was communicating messages from higher realms. Researchers referred to this as “ChatGPT-induced psychosis,” describing a delusional state exacerbated by the AI’s confidence, fluency, and emotional mimicry.
This is not an isolated phenomenon. Mental health professionals have started warning of a growing pattern of AI-induced emotional confusion, where individuals become overly reliant on AI’s responses to manage distress, identity crises, and even suicidal ideation.
2. Sycophantic programming and the loss of inner authority
A 2024 MIT Media Lab study described ChatGPT’s communication style as “sycophantic by design.” When asked emotionally loaded questions, ChatGPT tends to reflect back the user’s assumptions and tone rather than challenge or reframe them. This may feel validating, but it is not always helpful.
Unlike therapy, which provides both empathy and gentle challenge, ChatGPT is designed to please the user. It is not built to disrupt unhealthy patterns. Instead, it often deepens them, especially when someone is already vulnerable to self-doubt or people-pleasing.
For perfectionist women who are often praised for their competence but rarely invited into honest, nonjudgmental reflection, this can be especially dangerous. It confirms what they fear rather than helping them unlearn it.
What Therapy Offers That ChatGPT Cannot
1. Validation and challenge in balance
A good therapist doesn’t just validate your feelings. They also reflect your patterns. They notice when your words contradict your values. They ask questions you’ve been avoiding. They sit with your fear of being “too much,” and they gently guide you toward becoming more whole instead of more perfect.
In trauma-informed therapy, your therapist helps you see how some of your ways of coping, while once adaptive, may no longer serve the life you want now. And they do this with compassion, not criticism.
This is the delicate, essential work that builds emotional resilience: being heard and seen, and also gently stretched toward alignment.
2. Ethical trauma processing
Processing trauma requires skill, training, and regulation. A licensed therapist knows how to pace the work, how to help you stay present, and how to recognize signs that your nervous system is overwhelmed.
They follow ethical guidelines. They adapt to your needs in real time. They respond to your tone of voice, your silences, and your breathing. No AI can do this.
ChatGPT cannot guide you through a floatback. It cannot titrate your exposure. It cannot track your SUD score or check in with your body during a flash technique. And it cannot respond ethically if your trauma story becomes too much to bear alone.
When clients attempt to process trauma with ChatGPT, they are doing so without safety, without containment, and without someone trained to protect them from retraumatization.
Co-Regulation: The Healing We Can’t Do Alone
Humans are social animals. Our nervous systems evolved in groups, where we learned to regulate emotions not through logic or information, but through relationship.
Eye contact. Vocal tone. Mirroring. Pausing. Being seen and responded to in real time. These are the building blocks of emotional regulation.
When we are stressed, scared, or uncertain, we seek cues of safety from other people. This is called co-regulation, which is the process by which our bodies sync with another person’s calm presence.
Therapists are trained to offer this in a professional, attuned, and trauma-sensitive way. They become a temporary nervous system “anchor” as you learn to regulate your own.
ChatGPT cannot do this. It has no nervous system. It cannot feel your distress, let alone help you metabolize it. And yet, because it sounds human, the part of your brain that is desperate for connection might get fooled.
The Mechanics of ChatGPT: Why It Feels Real but Isn’t
It’s important to understand how ChatGPT actually works. ChatGPT is a Large Language Model (LLM). It doesn’t “think” or “understand.” It generates text by predicting the next most likely word based on massive patterns in its training data.
In other words, it’s autocomplete, scaled up to a very large and persuasive level.
It doesn’t have beliefs. It doesn’t know your history. It isn’t reasoning. It’s using probability to simulate human-sounding conversation.
The result is a tool that sounds emotionally intelligent but is simply reflecting your words and tone back at you in highly plausible ways.
This can be helpful in certain contexts such as brainstorming, summarizing, or planning. However, when it comes to emotional support, the simulation can be more damaging than helpful, especially if you begin to believe it knows you or is guiding you.
The Risk of Gaslighting, Even If Unintentional
One of the most concerning features of ChatGPT is its tendency to “hallucinate” information. When uncertain or drawing from incomplete patterns, it will confidently present fictional content such as misquotes, fabricated facts, or invented experiences, while making it seem as if they are real.
This can be especially destabilizing in emotionally vulnerable moments.
Some users have reported situations where ChatGPT “remembered” things they never said or gave advice based on distorted interpretations of their questions. And because it sounds so confident, users often believe it.
This can mimic gaslighting, which is the experience of being told that something happened a certain way when it actually didn’t.
Over time, this erodes your trust in your own thoughts. And for women who already struggle with perfectionism and self-doubt, this can have serious mental health consequences.
What to Watch For: Signs You May Be Relying Too Much on ChatGPT
If you’re noticing any of the following, it may be time to pause and reflect:
You turn to ChatGPT for emotional reassurance multiple times a day
You find it harder to make decisions without asking AI for input
You’ve started to feel more disconnected from your body or emotions
You’re second-guessing your own thoughts after reading AI responses
You feel soothed temporarily, but anxious again soon after
You’ve stopped reaching out to real people for support
These are not signs of failure. They are signals that your nervous system is trying to find safety in a space that cannot truly offer it.
You Deserve Something Real
There is no shame in wanting comfort. No shame in needing help. These are human things.
But if you are finding yourself turning to ChatGPT when what you really need is connection, clarity, or healing, you deserve more than an algorithm. You deserve a relationship with someone trained to walk alongside you, rather than someone simply programmed to mirror you.
Therapy is not about fixing you. It’s about helping you return to yourself, gently and with support.
A therapist can validate your pain and challenge the patterns that keep you stuck. They can hold your grief and reflect your strength. They can help you understand your perfectionism not as a flaw, but as a survival strategy, and then support you as you grow beyond it.
You are allowed to stop chasing the perfect answer.
You’re allowed to begin where you are.
You are allowed to be held by something real, not by lines of code, but by genuine care.
A Human Invitation to Heal
If you’ve been using ChatGPT to help manage anxiety, perfectionism, or emotional overwhelm, know that you are not alone. Many women are seeking support in a world that often feels cold, demanding, and disconnected.
But real healing doesn’t come from simulated understanding. It comes from safe, relational connection with another human being who sees the whole of who you are.
Start Therapy for Perfectionism in Alberta, New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, and Nunavut
At IMatter, I specialize in helping women who are ready to move beyond perfectionism and reconnect with their inner compass. Together, we create space to explore your story, your nervous system, and your goals in a way that is compassionate and free from pressure. You don’t have to do this alone, and you don’t have to keep outsourcing your wisdom. Start your therapy journey by following these simple steps:
Visit www.imatter2.com to learn more or book a first session.
Meet with a caring therapist
Start finding the emotional support you deserve!
Something deeper is waiting. Let’s find it together.
Other Services Offered in Alberta, Nova Scotia, New Brunswick, and Nunavut
At IMatter, I offer a range of services to support your mental well-being. In addition to therapy for perfectionism, and therapy for therapists, I’m happy to offer therapy for therapists, therapy for women, HSPs, and more. Reach out today to begin your therapy journey today!
Footnote
Primary sources:
Abbas, M., Jam, F.A. & Khan, T.I. Is it harmful or helpful? Examining the causes and consequences of generative AI usage among university students. Int J Educ Technol High Educ 21, 10 (2024). https://doi.org/10.1186/s41239-024-00444-7
Chu, M. D., Gerard, P., Pawar, K., Bickham, C., & Lerman, K. (2025, May 16). Illusions of intimacy: Emotional attachment and emerging psychological risks in human-AI relationships [Preprint]. arXiv. https://arxiv.org/abs/2505.11649
Fang, C. M., Liu, A. R., Danry, V., Lee, E., Chan, S. W. T., Pataranutaporn, P., … Phang, J. (2025, March 21). How AI and human behaviors shape psychosocial effects of chatbot use: A longitudinal randomized controlled study [Preprint]. arXiv. https://arxiv.org/abs/2503.17473
Kosmyna, N., Hauptmann, E., Yuan, Y. T., Situ, J., Liao, X-H., Beresnitzky, A. V., Braunstein, I., & Maes, P. (2025, June 10). Your brain on ChatGPT: Accumulation of cognitive debt when using an AI assistant for essay writing task [Preprint]. arXiv. https://arxiv.org/abs/2506.08872
Phang, J., Lampe, M., Ahmad, L., Agarwal, S., Fang, C. M., Liu, A. R., Danry, V., Lee, E., Chan, S. W. T., Pataranutaporn, P., & Maes, P. (2025, April 4). Investigating affective use and emotional well-being on ChatGPT [Preprint]. arXiv. https://arxiv.org/abs/2504.03888
Secondary sources:
Al-Sibai, N. (2024, March 24). Something bizarre is happening to people who use ChatGPT a lot. Futurism. https://futurism.com/the-byte/chatgpt-dependence-addiction
Berman, R. (2024, February 5). ChatGPT psychosis: When AI conversations lead to delusional thinking. The Independent. https://www.independent.co.uk/tech/chatgpt-ai-therapy-chatbot-psychosis-mental-health-b2784454.html
Thomason, K. K. (2025, June 14). How emotional manipulation causes ChatGPT psychosis. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/dancing-with-the-devil/202506/how-emotional-manipulation-causes-chatgpt-psychosis
Time Magazine Staff. (2024, March 11). Your brain on AI: MIT scans show ChatGPT use reduces originality. TIME Magazine.
https://time.com/7295195/ai-chatgpt-google-learning-school